Why Soul Search?

Hmmmmmm…

Soul Search is the first name that came to mind as I thought about starting this blog. Why? Let me explain. I know that all of us are on a journey in this crazy thing called LIfE. We’re all at different levels of this journey no matter our age, and while some choose to take it leisurely, others take long strides, especially at different, motivating points in their lives. Where am I ? Formerly I’ve always been the leisurely cruiser throughout life. For the past two years, I’ve begun to take long strides, even sprints, on my journey of self discovery, or as I call it–Soul Search.

Where did it all begin? Well, let me start by calling the kettle black and just putting it all out there. As we all do, I face a unique set of personal problems. This kettle (me) has been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder at the age of 23, just 6 years ago, to date. (Yes, I’m almost 30!!, and yes, I feel old…but that’s a whole different story for another blog post.) ūüėú ¬†At that time, I was placed on many psychotropic medications (lots and lots of hard, soul numbing medicines). It wasn’t until I saw a documentary on the drawbacks and benefits of treating Bipolar naturopathically that I decided to make some changes. (The documentary is on Netflix and it is called ‘Of Two Minds.’ It’s a great watch if you’re into that sorta thing.)

Let me explain how my Soul Search began… After ¬†all the inspiration I drew from that documentary and talking it over with a close friend, I decided to talk to my therapist about making a life change in that direction. It didn’t happen over night but changing my mindset was the first step. That put me on the path of many, many greater things to come. You’ll see, keep reading…

The first baby steps were essentially to establish myself with a new Naturopathic Doctor while working with my Psychiatrist and Therapist to slowly taper off the old medications and transition to the new, under the direction of both my Naturopath and my Psychiatrist. That took close to a year until I was on all vitamins and supplements plus 1 prescription drug, which is much better than 5, I might say so myself. I noticed changes immediately, especially as the steps I took increased and as the pace began to pick up. These are the dramatic changes I noticed in myself…

I became more self aware, essentially more comfortable in my own skin. I could read my body for the first time and listen to what it was telling me.¬†I became more assertive and decisive about what I want in life. I¬†became more independent of others to make me happy or fulfill my needs. ¬†And, I slowly saw the need to help others as I was helping myself, not only with their personal health and wellness care but also with any personal problems they may be facing. (Take for example: I’ve made it a point to truly be there for my friend who was diagnosed with cancer and recently started chemotherapy.) Looking outside of oneself definitely teaches you a lot about life and even your own self, as well. What other changes had to happen?

As I mentioned, the process was slow going and being the impatient person that I am, it was very frustrating at times. Once I officially transferred over to solely being ¬†under my Naturopath’s care, (I kept my Psychiatrist as a back up, ‘just in case.’) I began to explore new pathways of proactively treating my mania and depression. Some of these include: vitamins and supplements, exercise, diet, being in nature, reflecting, reading & meditating on my Bible, therapy, improving personal relationships, and goal setting, to name a few. ¬†(I’ll get in to how all these things have help me in my life in a later blog). Looking back…

No regrets. My Soul Search continues. I’m a happier me…but even better: I’m content, proud of myself, and curious to discover what else is in store for me! Not only that, many of my close family members and friends can see the difference. They have expressed things to me like: ‘You’re doing so much better now than you were a year ago.’ At times an outsiders opinion can help tremendously. I still feel that I have a lot to work on so I had to ask them if they were telling me the truth??? Yes, they were! I was so stuck in what was going wrong and what I still wasn’t accomplishing, rather than focusing on how far I’ve come in my journey. My mindset changed yet again. The Soul Search never stops…

What’s Your Song Anthem?

Well, let’s see… The song that comes to my mind is “fight song” by Rachel Platten. Life is hard and challenging and just a struggle to get through each and every day. But this song reminds me that I can come off victorious. And by the way, my name, Nicholle, means victory. So I say just do it, let’s do this thing, let’s kick butt!!

My Alternative Lifestyle 

By wording the title that way, does it make me a lesbian? No. I’m actually one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Some may think that’s even weirder than being gay. I am happy to say I am entirely happy with my life. Did I choose it? Yes. Without a doubt, I chose the best life I believe I can ever live.

“But you still have a brain disorder, why not just use that as an excuse and do what you want?” some may argue. Even though I am limited mentally, there is no excuse for acting out against what I believe is the truth from the Bible.

Doing what I want means following the Bible’s standards. Doing what I want does not mean listening to the crowd as the world just drags me along. Doing what I want is doing what God wants. 
Peace out. Amen. 

30, Flirty, & Thriving

30. This is the age I dread most in my life. Not sure why: I’ve heard the expression ‘Thirty, Flirty, & Thriving’. Not so bad, right?

Not for me. I feel old. I don’t wanna be flirty but I do wanna thrive. Thirty means I’m an adult. Twenty’s gives me an excuse to still act stupid and childlike. I guess I want to be wise and grow into my old body. 

Thirty’s not so bad. Neither is 40 but I’ll let you know for sure in another 10 years. 

Treasures in Heaven 

My family is not used to being receivers. They don’t ask or even expect from others. We are all in a crisis in our individual lives yet, Jesus taught that there is more happiness in giving than receiving. Oh how true! 
Many have inquired how to help out my family during this difficult time (Nicholle’s bipolar manic episode). 
These are a few ways we’d appreciate your concern: hugs at the hall, a quick message to my mom & dad (they are exhausted) via a thoughtful call or text (we plan to print and keep these), stop by to meet our pig (he is very loving but nips so be cautious). 

Also pre-arrangements in the ministry with each of us, donating to the Kingdom Hall, and/or bring over and sharing in a meal with us (my three favorites) help tremendously!
Any small thing you share might be building up treasures in heaven–the unseen, everlasting kind. 

We would appreciate any gesture of your kindness and continued support. We will continue to show our support and gratitude for you, our loving brothers and sisters, by sending prayers for all of you!!! 

Thank you to all who have already reached out to Nicholle. Her FAMILY needs you all too. 

Love, & Aloha!!!

CONTACT INFO-Patti: (808) 987-8038

Ken & Patti Stover: 73-4100 Kulanui Place #3, Kailua-Kona, HI 96740

FB: Patti Stover, IG: pattistover, email: konapatti@gmail.com 

Visiting hours: 10-12am or 4-6pm (please stop by, no need to call ahead)

Inside My Mind

Let me take you on a journey, a journey into my intricate manic-depressive mind. I have to admit that I experience more highs than lows. In my mind this is fun and exhilarating and preferable to the down days. Yet, most who know me would prefer the tranquil, subdued me over mania me. My fire is too hot and blazing for most people to take. I love too hard and I need too much and I yell too loud. Can I control it? Not really. Can the medicine tame the beast? Yes. So, alas, I give in, knowing meds will be a norm for me as long as I live. It’s okay. I can take it. 

Accepting Responsibility

‘He did it.’ ‘She made me do it.’ How often do we hear those words time and again? I really need to start accepting responsibility for my own behavior and actions. I have noticed this for myself particularly a lot in the past few months. I made mistakes. I made up for them. And yet they may always be at the front of my mind reminding me not to repeat them. That’s what mistakes are for. Challenge accepted. I accept responsibility for what I do.